Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Goodbye My Sweet Julie...

1991 - 2012

Today was one of the hardest days I've had to endure in a long time. Today was the day I had to decide to have my Julie put to rest due to her failing health. She's been dealing with canine Cognitive Dysfunction Syndrome (CDS) for at least the last year and a half. This is basically doggie Alzheimers with all of the same symptoms and problems. In the past few months she has rapidly deteriorated to the point where she was having problems walking or standing. She lost her hearing a couple years ago and now her eyesight was almost gone. She'd lost most of her muscle mass and her heart was also failing. While she didn't seem to be in any physical pain, at times she would get very confused and somewhat frightened.

My close friends know I've been putting this off for a while but I was afraid in her current condition she might get into a situation when I wasn't at home that would have her trapped outside somewhere and die in a panic. I had to decide that it was better for her to go peacefully, but anyone who has gone through this before knows how agonizing a decision this is. Selfishly you want them to live forever but it just isn't possible. I spent the day with her today giving her lots of love and plenty of her favorite cookies. I was a blubbering idiot at the vet but they were very kind as usual and I know that they made it as peaceful and painless as they could. I was too big of a coward to be there for it. In the end I hope I made the right decision.

Julie came into my life in April of 1998. She was supposed to be 7 years old at the time but I did not know her exact birth date. She had three homes before mine and was a wonderful companion the entire time. She was smart and loving and the most important thing in my life all this time, and I was grateful to have her every day. I'll miss her every day and hope I gave as much to her life as she gave to mine.